When you go on a date with someone, or just meet a new person that seems interesting, what do you think about?
Do you make an effort to stay present, be curious and get to know that person, or do you focus more on how you come across?
I’ve seen that the second alternative is very common. It’s understandable, because when we want to make an impression we tend to get more self conscious, but it’s also unfortunate, because it stops us from actually succeeding.
You cannot meet or connect with someone when you’re stuck in you own head, trying to figure out what is going on in their head.
Still, we try.
What would actually get you where you want to go, and make the connection and impression you want, is being present in the moment where the meeting is occurring, and being more curious about that person than about what they think about you.
Here is the bottom line: you don’t go on a date to think about yourself.
You are not dating yourself, you are there to get to know someone else!
For that to be possible you must:
1. Be in the present moment.
2. Put your awareness on the other person instead of on yourself.
As it happens, doing those two things will also make you less nervous and more calm, charming, confident and attractive.