One question that I get asked a lot, when someone has told be about their current situation and would like some help and advice is: what should I do?
I always respond with another question, like what do you want to do?
Because even though I gladly help my friends and clients with coaching and sometimes even advice, there is no point in me sharing that until I know what is important and feels right to this specific person.
It’s like asking for driving directions without knowing where you are going.
– Should I turn right or left?
– Well that depends on where you want to go. And what kind of route you like. Do you want to get there fast or take the scenic route? Are you even driving in the right direction right now?
What I find interesting is how common it is to lose touch with yourself when you start to get involved with someone else. When I ask people what they would like to do, or how they would like the situation to turn out, surprisingly many haven’t really thought about that. And of course, it’s much more practical to ask someone and get a “right answer”. Unfortunately (and luckily, I would add), there are no right answers for your love life. You need to figure out what is important to you, and act accordingly.
And a good start is letting the question what do I want to do? come before what should I do?